Directions

A while back a good friend of mine told me that I had to teach people how to treat me (this was way before Dr. Phil made the line famous). It's really just another way of saying I had to form boundaries and put them in place. It's a good thing she never said it like that though because I know my mind would have slammed shut.

With my friends support I started by getting to know who I was and what I needed both for and from myself. The next step was being able to decide what I needed from others and to voice those needs. The more practice I got, the easier it became. To my own amazement my relationships with others have definitely improved, but they're not perfect. We're told to aim for progress, and there's been a lot of that.

I've come to think of boundaries as an invisible set of directions. Since the world around me can't see them, I have to give voice to them. We all need directions whether its for operating the VCR, working a recovery program, or getting along with others. Its not a one way street, so I need you to direct me as to how you need to be treated as well. If we don't know the directions it takes us a lot longer to find where we're going. We can stop along the way and ask, but if we're told up front, we'll get there a lot faster.