My Life is a Hoover

Seriously. I live in a vacuum, or as the Big Book says, "bondage of self". This morning proved, that although I try very hard, I can easily fall back into "its all about me".

Early this morning I heard a noise outside my front door and when I went out to look, found a couple of guys digging a huge hole right beside my prize Clematis plant (which is a beautiful flowering climbing vine). I live in a townhouse and apparently my next door neighbours have a crack in their foundation. These guys were in the midst of digging down eight feet to repair it. Was my first concern about my neighbours and their leak? Nope, nor was it my second or third or fourth. My only concern was my plant, my garden, me, me, me. The guys are still out there digging and I can't help at times but to look out the front window to see if the trellis and my vine have toppled. It's ridiculous really. There are much more important things I need to be taking care of right now. When I was drinking I didn't care about my plants, or their aesthetic value. It's even quite likely that I would have been out there with the guys, asking if they'd like something cold to drink.

Recently I heard someone talk about, "not being so personally involved in our lives". Its similar to saying that I am not the star of my own film but just one of the extras, or, one among many. This isn't something I can accomplish through sheer self will. I can become less self absorbed however, by connecting to my Higher Power through the 3rd and 7th Step prayers.